Church is boring!
Yesterday, we started talking about why kids are leaving the church. Today, we take a look at the second reason. Barna research says young people think that “church is boring.”* Some suggest “faith is not relevant to [their] career or interests,” “the Bible is not taught clearly or often enough” to help them, and many suggest “that ‘God [was] missing from [their] experience at church.’ ” Let’s dissect this. Church may be boring because some kids’ churches set bad examples of what the church is supposed to be like. They have funny songs, silly stories, and creative games that may or may not have any spiritual significance. Since they aren’t told about the most amazing gift of God, they can’t appreciate worship services. Our job is to make faith relevant and teach our kids about God’s amazing grace. *Based on “Six Reasons Young Christians Leave Church,” Barna.org
One reason kids are leaving the church
Barna Group research says there are five reasons why three in five kids leave the church after they’re fifteen.* First? They say churches “seem overprotective.” Most young people in the church want “their faith in Christ to connect to the world they live in.” Unfortunately, most youth groups do little to prepare them to engage the culture. Much of what they're learning is “stifling, fear-based and risk-averse.” Many believe “Christians demonize everything outside the church”—“ignoring problems of the real world”—and are “too concerned with movies, music, and video games that are harmful.” It’s hard when you read Scripture that says to be in the world but not of the world. What can change it? Relationship-building and discernment skills rather than scare tactics. Read Philippians 1:9 and 10. *Based on “Six Reasons Young Christians Leave Church,” Barna.org
Today’s kids are poised to leave the church.
Are you concerned your son or daughter might not stay in church when they become adults? Today, kids are becoming less and less engaged in our local churches. According to Barna research, three out of five young people fifteen years of age and older leave the church.* Why? Basically because they’re not being taught Scripture. They’re taught they need to be good people or make good choices—then they’ll get to heaven. When they’re teens, apart from Christ, they realize that they can’t make good choices. They understand the same is true for adults teaching them that. They don’t understand that they’re saved by grace through faith through Christ alone. What’s our role in all this? Don’t give up teaching Scripture. It’s our duty. Deuteronomy 6 tells us to teach them the Word diligently. Don’t leave it up to the church. *Based on “Six Reasons Young Christians Leave Church,” Barna.org
Drama. It comes with teenagers.
Are you a parent of teenagers? Teenage GIRLS? I’m a Dad to three girls, one still a teenager. Why is there always so much drama with teenage girls? You know the drama I’m talking about—girls in everybody else’s business, like your daughter’s friend having boy trouble, or a few friends are ignoring the other. While it seems trivial to us, it isn’t for them. How do I handle it? Sometimes not very well. But what I should do is listen and NOT try to fix everything. But it’s also important to point them to Scripture. Galatians 5:15 says, “if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another” (ESV). Loving one another is better.
Have your kids lost someone?
One of the most difficult things to see is your child grieving the death of somebody close to them—a friend or relative. It’s difficult for us adults, let alone kids. What do we say to them? How do we help them cope? The most important thing is to remind our kids that God is in control. Secondly, if the person who dies was a Christian, you can explain to them that they were immediately in the presence of God and, if they know Christ, they’ll see them again. The fact that these important people are missing makes it difficult. We need to tell our kids that it’s okay to grieve. After all, that’s why Lamentations was written, right? But, as Christians, we have hope, knowing God is the ultimate Healer.
I'm not sure they're a "good" friend.
As parents, we all want our teens to have friends who help them grow spiritually. But how do we guide them in choosing godly friends? Proverbs 13:20 tells us, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." This verse reminds us that friends influence our lives—for better or worse. Let’s encourage our teens to seek out friendships with those who share their faith, who encourage them to walk closer with Jesus, and who strive to live in obedience to God. They’re kids. They won’t be perfect, but having the same goals spiritually can help with accountability. And, remember, let’s pray with our kids, asking God to lead them to friends who will challenge them to grow in their love for Christ.
What are they saying?
When I was a kid we said things like, “you’re so fiction”–meaning, you’re lying. Or, “gag me”–meaning that makes me sick or disgusted. Or, how about, “tubular, man.” It seems like there are words in each generation that don’t really mean what they say. Here are some for today. “Bussin”–that’s something really good. Or how about, “cap.” That means lying or faking. Here’s another one, “sus.” That’s suspicious. “You been acting super sus lately.” Why am I sharing this? Sometimes, our kids talk in code with their friends. Knowing their vocabulary is half the battle in knowing what’s going on in their lives. As we help guide them through the tough teens years, especially today, the more we know, the better we can help point them to Christ, which is our first calling.
My kids don't know the Bible.
We want our kids to know Christ. To know Christ, they have to read about Him. To read about Him, they must read the Bible. While we as Christians want that, we’re not modeling that with our kids. How do I know? Studies tell us that fewer than half of adults in the US can name five of the 10 Commandments, many Christians can’t name the four Gospels, and just 4 out of 10 Christians read their Bible outside of church. As Romans 10:17 says, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.” The Holy Spirit uses the Word – the Bible – to lead people to Christ. Read Scripture daily to our kids. And, use our devotionals to help them understand it.
Politics are affecting my kids, too.
In today’s intense political climate, it’s crucial to handle ourselves with grace and wisdom. Our kids are watching and learning from us, especially when their peers marginalize them when they don't share our biblical values on issues like homosexuality, abortion, and other cultural topics. As parents, we need to equip them to stand firm in their faith while showing love and respect to others. Let’s encourage our kids with 1 Corinthians 16:13-14: "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love." Let’s teach them to express their convictions calmly and respectfully, listening to others while holding fast to the truth of God’s Word. Pray with them and model Christ-like behavior. Let’s guide our kids to be courageous in faith and compassionate in spirit.
It's my way or the highway.
How many of us have said that, even if we’re just kidding? Is our way the way of Christ? There’s a vital balance between rules, love, and the Bible in discipling our kids. Proverbs 22 reminds us how important it is to start kids off young in the Word. It’s like any habit, it’ll continue into adulthood. However, does reading the Bible become a box to check in our Christian faith? Or, is it what drives our daily walk. Psalm 119 says it should light each step. So, let's let Scripture set “our way” and as we spend time reading God’s Word, ask the Holy Spirit to give our kids a love for Christ, who can only be known as we read His Word. If you need help, get one of our devotionals.