Halloween is right around the corner.
It’s a time of year where Christians won’t ever agree. Some parents say, “We don’t celebrate Halloween because it’s Satan’s holiday.” Others say, “We don’t celebrate Halloween. We just let our kids dress up and go get candy.” I’m not here to tell you if it’s right or wrong—that’s your call. You’re the parents. But you have options. First, there are plenty of churches around who specialize in holding alternatives to Halloween parties. There’s Trunk-or-Treat events or harvest festivals. But you can make it a ministry. How? By giving away Keys for Kids devotionals at those events. Or by handing them out with candy when kids come to your house looking for it. Get your supply so you can point kids to Christ today. Purchase Keys for Kids devotional books: https://shop.keysforkids.org/products/special-editions?variant=45393736270125
Stop the roller coaster! I want off!
Do your kids like roller coasters? I remember the first time I rode one with my daughter. She was scared, but excited. We were slowly chugging up the first hill. My daughter said, “Dad, I want to get off.” I said, “Honey, I can’t stop this thing. You’re stuck. It’s too late.” The real choice to ride the roller coaster is when you get in the seat and lock yourself in. It’s kind of the same way with friends. If you’re out with your friends and they’re up to no good, it’s really hard to turn away and go home alone. The best time to say no to bad stuff is when you pick your friends. Help your kids pick good friends. Bad ones can take your kids on a wild, disastrous ride. The Bible says, “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Happy birthday!
Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. She’s thirty-one. Hard to believe—it seems like yesterday that I was bouncing her on my lap, enrolling her in school, and watching her graduate with honors from high school and college. She was an amazing student. Most teachers loved her. In fact, out of all my kids, the teachers would always tell us, “Well, it would be nice if she’d talk a little more.” That was really the worst we ever got. There’s not much of a message in this Parent Minute, except this: don’t take the early years of your life for granted. Don’t spend so much time at work or traveling and miss those family moments—you’ll never get them back. The Bible says to train up a child in the way of the Lord. You can’t do that if you’re not there.
Am I a grizzly bear?
Recently, I watched this video of a guy interviewing college students. He was about 5’8” with white, blondish hair. He was asking people about what they thought about transgendered individuals using any bathroom they want. Their answers were, “Well, they should be able to use whatever. Who am I to tell them what they are?” Then he told these people that he was an Asian female. The students were “okay” with that. But then when he told them he was 6’5”—that was too much. Our culture doesn’t believe in absolutes—even something as simple as gender. As parents, we need to remind our kids that Scripture is absolute truth. God’s Word is the ultimate authority. As culture wars heat up, use God’s Word to guide you. All Scripture is inspired by God.
Do we delight in the LORD?
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (ESV). No, this isn’t a name-it-and-claim-it type of theology. The reality is that if we seek Christ in everything we do, the Holy Spirit will direct us. His desires become our desires. His plans become our plans. Our every motivation is to make Christ known and to grow in Him. How does that relate to parenting? If our kids see this delight in our lives, don’t you think that as we show this in our daily lives, it will motivate them to follow Christ? Some of my favorite memories are of my grandparents being at peace about everything because they knew God was in control. Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. May not copy or download more than 500 consecutive verses of the ESV Bible or more than one half of any book of the ESV Bible.
The “C” word—it’s devastating.
Cancer. It’s a word every family fears. It means a change of lifestyle, uncertainty, pain, suffering, and sometimes—death. We fear it. How do we deal with this with our kids and grandkids? I wish I had the answers. Obviously, it depends on the age: the message is God is in control. He’s the Great Physician. He’s the Sustainer, our Healer, Comforter, Provider, and Friend. He has a plan. Suffering, pain, and death—they’re all a part of life. It’s the result of sin. As a believer, death is victory, a reminder of how amazing God’s grace truly is. A verse to help? Philippians 1:21: “For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (CSB).
Can protection hurt our kids?
We’ve all seen it: parents who try to protect their kids from poor choices they’ve made. In school, some parents view the teachers as the enemy. When their child fails or behaves badly, they blame the teacher. “If my child is doing poorly, it’s got to be YOUR fault. You’re just a bad teacher,” I overheard once. We’re seeing this happen all over the United States: teachers, police officers, and other authority figures in our kids’ lives being attacked by parents whose kids are making poor choices. Protecting our kids from the consequences of their actions isn’t love—it’s abuse. The Bible says, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24 NIV). Fail at that, and we fail our kids.
It’s impossible to win arguments with teens.
Can I be blunt? Teenagers aren’t always very logical. Some can argue the color of the sky. It can be frustrating. But, if you’re like me, the passion begins pouring out, and before I know it—yep, I’m yelling. That’s when I know I’ve lost. When it gets loud, our kids stop listening, even with the best words. It’s okay to be stern, but be tender, compassionate, and to the point. Our kids need us to be clear. Ambiguity causes many teens to believe we’re wishy-washy or uncertain. They may not like our tactlessness, but they won’t ever have to ask the question, “What do you mean?” Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (ESV).
Negative kids. Contagious?
Do you enjoy being around negative people? I don’t know about you, but it’s depressing for me. There’s nothing good about people who constantly point out the bad in everything. The problem is negativity is contagious. It’s a learned behavior, just like anything else. How are we behaving in front of our kids? Do we point out faults in people and continue nitpicking everything about them? Or, do we recognize their faults but also point out the good? Don’t we owe it to our kids to help them see that love is more important than criticism? I’ve noticed more negative comments in my home. Now, if we bring up someone’s faults, we have an obligation to talk about their gifts. Read 1 Peter 4:8: “Keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (ESV).
Complaining again?
Recently, I had a mom tell me, “My kids care TOO much. They’re always pointing out flaws in people and wanting to fix it. Should I try to change this behavior? What kid likes to be ‘fixed’?” You know, sometimes “fixing” people can be a learned behavior. Do YOU try fixing people? The question I had for this mom was, “Did you ask your kids how they’d like it if people complained about their imperfections? How would they like it if their friends came to them wanting to fix all of their issues?” The most important thing is to point your kids to Scripture. Jesus was pretty critical of the Pharisees’ hypocrisy. But, it was always truthful and ultimately loving. Read Matthew 23. Then, encourage your kids to love.